Mixed Emotions

Tomorrow is a big day for one of my besties. I could not be happier for her and I know we all can choose our moods, but I am not sure how I am going to react tomorrow. See, tomorrow is her baby shower and we were about a month apart. I have often thought about the milestones during a pregnancy and where I would be and what would be happening. By no means am I jealous at all and I can't wait to meet the little guy. I am just afraid of what emotions may come up being around the baby stuff knowing that I no longer....well you know. Tomorrow is also going to be 3 months since my surgery and I go in on this comin up Tuesday for a blood screening. So many things going on in my world it seems like....I kinda feel like a bingo ball...I am just being blown all over the place with the new things of settling back in to my home, being away from my husband, still dealing with the loss of the pregnancy and so on. I know that God does not give you more than you can handle and I am just trying to view everything as a learning opportunity.